Batman for a Week
by SherlockianGirl
Summary: Robin wins a bet with Batman. The conditions? Dick Grayson is Batman for a week, with his sidekick, Bruce Wayne Robin.
1. Why Robbing People Has Its Benefits

_**I would first like to start off by stating a simple fact: I love Robin/Dick Grayson from the Animated Series. I think he's awesome and underrated as a character. This fanfic is meant to give Robbie a little room to get back at Bats (who I also love, just not as much) for the whole sidekick-syndrome. So kindly take a read below and tell me what you think...all feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!  
**_

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

"Batman, I'm bored." Robin stared at the dice he was rolling, willing it to land on a three. If he could just pass "GO", he could collect his two hundred dollars.

It rolled a two.

"Oh yes!" Batman gloated. "Pay up, Boy Wonder! You landed on my Monopoly! That will be twelve thousand dollars. In fake cash."

Robin hated Monopoly.

The Boy Wonder began to eye something near the edge of the board. He had never thought to do it. He knew it was wrong. But the present desperate circumstances called for it…

Robin pointed toward the far end of the Batcave. "Look, Batman! Is that a bat?!"

The Dark Knight twisted in his chair, squinting into the darkness. It was all the time Robin needed to rob Batman.

Batman turned back around, intent on finishing the game. "Very funny, Robin. There are bats everywhere here. Now pay up."

Robin leaned forward, gesturing enthusiastically. "I'll make a bet with you, Batman," the Boy Wonder smirked. "If I can pay you the twelve thousand, you'll do something for me."

"You're pretty much broke, Robin."

"Then make the bet."

Something should have tipped Batman off by now. Robin had been moping through the entire game, doing everything short of banging his head against the table at his impending defeat. But Batman chose to ignore Robin's sudden good mood. He would lose anyway. Batman smiled smugly, pointing to his row of blue plastic hotels. "Fine. Let's see that twelve thousand."

Robin handed a wad of colorful fake money over to caped crusader. "I win."

His partner scowled as he flipped through the money, counting. "I was pretty sure you went bankrupt landing on all my monopolies."

Robin grinned. Batman counted again.

Finally, the Dark Knight sighed. "Fine. What do you want me to do?"

The Boy Wonder crossed his arms slowly, reclining back in his chair.

Suddenly, Batman felt a pang of fear grip him, like none he had ever felt facing any supervillain. Why was Robin chuckling and rubbing his hands together?

"We switch places," was Robin's triumphant command.

"_What?"_

"For the next week, I'm Batman. You're Robin."

_**Can this story get any sillier? Yes. Yes, it can. **_


	2. Reality Check

_**Well, I was going to continue this anyway cause I'm just having so much darn fun with it. :) **_

* * *

"Batman? Batman!"

_This can't be happening. I can't be Robin…his costume…it's too…horrid. Christmas colors. Nooo._

"Hey!" Robin stopped trying to shake Batman out of his paralyzed stupor. "What did you just say?"

_Oh no. He can read my thoughts. Quick, Batman. Think of something trivial. _

"I can hear you, Bruce."

_I should never have tampered with Robin's motorcycle brakes…_

"WHAT?!"

_Hmm, that didn't work. Perhaps I'm dead. Perhaps, by some divine intervention, I was struck by lightning rather than being left to suffer the utter humiliation of wearing those substandard Christmas tights…_

"You're not dead. But in a moment, you'll wish you were."

_These angels. They all sound like Robin. Are you dead, too, Robin?_

"Knock it off, Bruce." Batman was promptly backhanded back into reality. The Dark Knight groaned, rolling over on his back. Robin stood over him, hands clenched into tight green fists, prepared to deliver another blow.

"No, Dick! I'm awake!"

"Prove it."

"There was a bet…"

Robin immediately relaxed his fists and plopped down cross-legged beside his dazed mentor. He grinned. "Go on."

"Too painful…" gasped the Batman, rolling over to bury his face deep into the craggy stone floor. "GAH! My nose!" His efforts to escape the horrible predicament were futile.

"Face it, Batman. You won Monopoly, but I won the bet. Is that so bad?"

"Yes. Yes, it is."

"Well, you should have thought of that before you raised the bail rate every time I landed in Monopoly Jail."

"I'm sorry. Please take all my blue hotels. And half the Chance cards."

Robin chuckled. "Oh, no. I have suffered as your underling long enough. It's my turn now."

"To win board games?" Batman whispered, even as his last shred of hope disintegrated.

"No. To rid Gotham of its insatiable criminals and its warring mob leaders as the Dark Knight. And you," He gave the prostrate figure a patronizing smile, "…get to watch me be the hero and pretend you're doing something useful because I will, in fact, not let you do anything because I thrive on my own superiority complex."

_Must escape. Batmobile. Must…_

"I can still hear you Bruce."


	3. Costume Swapping

_**Okay, this is going to get a bit confusing. **_

_**THE GUIDE: Dick Grayson--Batman……Bruce Wayne--Robin**_

_**Got it? Gooood. **_

* * *

It had taken Robin the better part of an hour to drag Batman from the floor of the Batcave. Having given in to the nineteen-year old sidekick's demands, the dethroned Dark Knight trudged to change out of his costume into…he groaned.

Robin tapped his foot. "C'mon, Bruce. Let's get a move on! I would like to make it to patrol before morning, you know."

A pile of black armor was slipped through the door of bathroom. Robin casually tossed a uniform through the same space and marched off triumphantly with his new costume.

A few minutes later, a new, slightly shorter Batman appeared. "Hey, Bruce. This fits pretty well. Come and see."

"ROBIN!"

"Batman." The black figure corrected.

"Why does this Robin costume _fit_? It should _not fit!_"

"I ordered a larger size a long time ago. It should suit you perfectly. What do you think?"

A muffled scream emanated from the bathroom.

Dick was playing with his new batarang against the bathroom door when it finally opened.

"Dick, I'm going to kill you."

Before the new Batman stood the new Robin, taller, broader shouldered, and looking like a caped gorilla.

"At least you have pants, Bruce. If I was from the _early_ comics…"

Bruce shuddered visibly.

"And black boots. Not green elf-"

"Enough!"

"It really works for you. You look…sidekickish."

"Dick, I want my suit back. This was loads of laughs, but now it's-"

"I'm Batman."

"What?"

"I'm Batman."

Bruce took a step back. "Ohhhh no. I call you Dick, you call me Bruce. None of this Batman-Robin thing."

"Ohhhhh yes, _Robin._"

"Son of a-"

"Robin, I am laying down the rules for the next week. Because I'm Batman, and I'm in charge. Rule one: I am Batman, the Dark Knight, Protector of Gotham, the Caped Crusader. I am the night. You are my sidekick in a tastefully colored uniform. You are the Boy Wonder." Dick paused. "Okay, I'll upgrade you. You are the Man Wonder."

Bruce buried his face in his hands.

"I am in charge of the computer, the Batcave, Alfred, the Batmobile (which _I _get to drive), and all of your cool accessories. You may have my motorcycle, which you may want to _untamper _with. I get first shot at the villains while you stand there looking concerned. Got it?"

"I think I'm going to disown you, Dick."

"Just take it like a man, sidekick."

And so the new Batman and Robin made their way to the Batmobile, parked near the center of the cave, one to fight the dastardly villains of the night, and the other to watch his partner fight the dastardly villains of the night.


	4. Why Robin Never Got to Drive

_**I know this is short, but I wanted to write at least a little something today. And so it**_

_**continues…. remember they switched places :)**_

* * *

"Batman, that was a red light."

"It was yellow."

"Will you try to be careful driving? You are not above the law, you know. GAH! _Senior citizen_!"

The Batmobile swerved violently to the left, just clipping the cane of a hunched old man.

"Hmm, I believe that was a pedestrian. Good eye, Robin."

"I can't believe this. You almost killed that decrepit old man…as Batman!"

"Gotham could use one less cranky old person."

"Dick Grayson!"

"Kidding."

The Batmobile radar that had been beeping softly in the background suddenly grew louder.

Batman smiled triumphantly. "Bingo. I love these tracking devices. What does this thing do?"

"Don't!"

Batman gave the knob a quick twist. "What! We have _a radio?_"

Robin folded his arms defiantly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I hate your music."

Nothing could have provoked Batman to blast his favorite radio station more. Humming along, the Dark Knight looked over at the passenger side. Robin was banging his head. On the dashboard.

"You know, Batman, this kills any sense of stealth we might have on ambushing our enemies." Robin groaned. And reaching forward, he-

Batman slapped his hand. "Hands of my radio, sidekick."

Ten minutes later (but not long enough for Robin to try and squeeze himself out the passenger window), Batman made one final turn and the car lurched to a stop.

Batman was looking for something. "Erm, Robin, how do I unlock the doors from the driver's side? Is it this button?"

_"NO!"_

Batman was left staring at the empty passenger seat, bouncing on top of a giant spring.

"Hey! We have an _eject button?_ What the-" A very large object suddenly crashed against the windshield. "AHHHH!" He could think of only one thing to do.

"Batman, turn the windshield wipers _off!" _came a muffled voice outside the car.

"_Robin_?" Finding the correct button this time, the Caped Crusader let himself out of the Batmobile, only to find himself alone.

"Robin!"

"Over here, Detective."

Batman spun around to find his over-sized sidekick in the strong clutches of the ancient Ra's al Ghul.

"What _is_ it with old people today?" Batman muttered.


	5. How Batman Can Be a Jerk

_**NOTE: Main characters will change for this fanfiction simply because they are serious and this fic is too silly. They can't be canonical. I'm not trying to ruin them--I'm just having fun.**__**  
**_

* * *

"Greetings, Detective," Ra's Al Ghul sneered.

"Greetings, old man. I see you have captured my sidekick."

"Yes. But he seems to have gotten quite-" he struggled briefly to keep Robin under his grasp. "Stronger."

"ERRGH!" yelled the over sized Robin.

But Batman was not listening. He was contemplating his sweet revenge.

Ra's Al Ghul grunted, almost knocked backward by Robin's kicking legs. "His frame has grown as well," he marveled.

"Steroids," Batman remarked flatly.

"Batman!" Robin strained against his unnaturally strong captor. "You've got to help me!"

"Not now, Robin. Stop being such a damsel in distress."

"Ubu!" called out the green-clad villain. "Now!" His bodyguard promptly leapt from the shadows to tackle the Dark Knight. They wrestled furiously, neither one gaining an advantage over the other.

"You know," Batman taunted his opponent between punches, "You have a really stupid name for a bodyguard."

Ubu's hand clenched tighter around his enemy's neck. "Say that again, Batboy."

"You know, you have a really stupid-"

"Not literally!"

"I thought you were hard of hearing," Batman choked. He had to think quickly. Distraction was the only way. "Hey, Ubu. Your sash is undone." Ubu frantically searched for signs that his clothes were falling off, while Batman simply kicked him senseless.

The Caped Crusader looked up to see Robin slowly being dragged under the forcible grip of Ra's Al Ghul toward the nearby pier.

"Wait! You're going to _drown _him?"

The villain turned around with an evil smirk. "It seems you object to the idea, Detective."

"No, it's just that it's not that efficient."

Ra's stared at him. "_What?"_

Batman folded his arms, deep thought written on his face. "Don't you think it would be easier just to shoot him?"

"_What the hell is wrong with you, Batman_?!" Robin screamed.

Batman laughed. "Man, you are so annoying." His face suddenly darkened. "Ra's, just let the boy, er, man go and let's finish this, you and me."

"No, he will just come to your aid."

"Then tie him up or something."

After Robin was securely attached to a nearby lamppost, Ra's advanced slowly toward his longtime enemy. "How will we do this, Detective? What fight will ultimately prove that one of us is the supreme superior to the other? What match of skill can determine which one is worthy to be the victor?"

"An arm-wrestling match."

* * *

_**My main fear with this story is that it will cease to be funny and digress to STUPID. Well, this fic is sorta stupid anyway. Just let me know if this is happening, so I can stop. :)**_


	6. Rage of the Robin

_**Okay, this will be the last chapter…..**_

…_**for a few days. Haha, gotcha. Thanks for all the reviews - you guys keep me going.**_

* * *

"I can't believe this," Robin muttered to himself. "I'm _really _Batman, and what does Dick do to my reputation? He challenges my deadly enemy to an arm-wrestling match. ERGH!"

He strained against the ropes holding him to the lamppost, then relaxed. "Let's see what gadgets Dick has in this belt. If I can break free…" He gradually freed one arm and rummaged through his utility belt. Empty. The last compartment contained a solitary object. An Exacto-knife.

"This is _all _he carries? I'm equipped with a _breakable knife?!" _

"Robin!" Batman strode towards him, trailed by Ra's Al Ghul. He stopped before Bruce, smiling crookedly. "We need you as a referee."

"What?" Robin choked. This was ridiculous.

"No need to worry about leaving that post. The match will be right here in front of you."

"I could honestly kill you right now."

Batman patted his head. "I thought Robin didn't kill."

"This one does."

He ignored him. "Now, what should we wrestle on?" Batman turned to the old man beside him, who shrugged. "Well, then I guess we'll have to duke it out on the hood of the Batmobile."

Robin threw himself forward as far as the ropes would allow. "Don't you _dare_! I will-"

Batman put his hand on his sidekick's shoulder. "But it's my car."

"AAAUGH!" Robin banged his head against the post. Why had he agreed to this? How had Dick won that stupid Monopoly game, anyway? He could have sworn…

"Robin, stop turning purple. The color does not go well with your costume."

When Robin opened his eyes, the match had already begun. They were locked in deep concentration, neither allowing the other to gain an advantage.

Robin fiddled with the utility knife, struggling with his free hand to saw at the tight bonds. _Snap. _Robin looked down. Part of the knife blade had broken off. "Oh no, you will not break on me, knife. Not today." And so Robin continued to cut at the ropes while threatening the inanimate object, ordering it not to break again. But, being an inanimate object, the knife did not listen. _Snap. Snap. Snap. _Robin couldn't take it anymore.

"Robin!" Batman called. "Will you stop screaming? It's breaking my concentration." Ra's Al Ghul then slammed Batman's arm down, denting the metal beneath it. "Oh, well, thanks, Robin. Some referee you are." He turned back to his opponent. "Best out of fifteen?"

Finally, the cords loosened and Robin was free. He sprinted forward, only one goal in his sights. Only one target.

"All right, Ra's. This one's for the championship. If I win, you have– Robin! What the-"

Batman was hit straight on, tumbling into Ra's Al Ghul as he fell to the ground, pinning the villain beneath him.

"Geez, Robin! What was that for?"

"As ref, I call a penalty." Robin kicked his ribs. "Get up, and let's finish taking care of this."

Ten minutes later, Robin watched as Commissioner Gordon's van disappeared around the bend, carrying two very sore criminals.

"Well, that was fun." Batman strode nonchalantly toward the Batmobile.

"You have a lot of explaining to do, Dick. And I'm driving back."

Batman turned to face him. "Sorry, Bruce. Last time I checked, it wasn't called the "Robin-mobile." He heard a gasp from the sidekick. He turned to see Robin kneeling before the Batmobile.

"My c-car! You _put a crater in my hood, _you, you…" Robin fumed, clenching and unclenching his fists.

Batman sighed, looking to the sky. "Such is the sacrifice of defending this city from the vices of evil. We must ask ourselves, just what is a car? A pile of parts, metal, and bolts? In the end, we must accept -"

"_You ruined the Batmobile_! You, you…."

"Robin, will you just insult me, already?"

"Jerk."

"Thank you. Are you done?"

"No."

Suddenly, Batman pointed to the sky. "The Bat-Signal! This is no time for insults and pity parties! Quick, Man Wonder! To the Batmobile!"

* * *

_**Well, there you have it. Thanks for staying with this story this far. More next week! **_

_**(By the way, if you're into the more serious-story type, my "In the Riddler's Game of Chess" was updated yesterday. Poor MoonlitPuddle is stuck being my only reviewer :) (you're the best)...**_


	7. Another Reason Robin Has to Kill Batman

_**The story continues back at the Batcave…**_

Batman pulled the vehicle to a screeching stop. "That was fine work you did tonight, Robin."

Robin gritted his teeth. "You used me as _a weapon, _Batman_._"

"I ran out of batarangs."

"And…?"

Batman shrugged. "You took out Killer Croc quite nicely with your head, so stop complaining. It was a miracle that I threw you far enough, anyway."

"I don't believe this."

Batman smiled. "It was for your own good."

Robin's eyes narrowed. "Oh, and how is that?"

"He could have killed you. Or worse, ripped your tights. Did you honestly want to be prancing around Gotham in shredded leggings? What would the villains think?"

Robin folded his arms. "Ha ha. I honestly could care less, Dick. I would fight them naked if it meant bringing them to justice."

"Well, _that _would be a picture."

The sidekick gasped. "You _wouldn't_."

The Dark Knight started gesturing enthusiastically. "You would be the ultimate distraction! Just run around a bit while I take care of the rest. What do you say?"

Robin's eyes nearly bugged out of his mask. "That's just…wrong."

"I'll let you wear your cape."

Robin unbuckled his seat belt and leapt from the car. "This discussion is _over. _It was a joke, Dick. _A joke!" _

Batman laughed. "Way to be a team player, Robin."

"Way to be a major jerk, Batman."

Batman sighed, closing the driver's door to the Batmobile. "Is that all you can do? Insult me?"

"At the moment…YES."

"Because I won Monopoly."

"Psh. I could care less about that game. If I hadn't-" He suddenly stopped, freezing in his tracks, then quickly resuming his pace across the cave. He suddenly jerked to a halt again. Batman turned around to see Robin's foot planted squarely on the edge of his cape.

"If you hadn't _what_, Dick?"

"Um, come up with the twelve thousand dollars." Batman began to yank on his cape nervously.

Robin laughed. "Why are you so jittery? You're acting as if you stole something and just got caught."

Batman could only stare. _He was so close to finding out about…_He had to lie. "I, uh, swiped one of your gadgets from your desk when you weren't looking. I'm s-sorry."

"I wonder…" Robin sauntered over to the main computer and began to casually click through files.

"W-what are you doing, Bruce?" Batman had shuffled uneasily behind him.

Robin smirked. "Oh, just checking the surveillance tape of our Monopoly game."

"We have _surveillance?! _"

The sidekick turned around in his chair. "Stop hyperventilating, of course we do."

_Think, think! _"Uh, Bruce? You want a soda from the fridge?"

"Sure, Dick."

Batman raced to the refrigerator, grabbed two cans, popping them open in his sprint back to the computer.

Suddenly, Batman tripped, slamming the contents of the full cans into the back of the computer. He watched from the floor as flurries of sparks flew from the machine, ending with a loud snap as the monitor went black. He smiled. _Perfect._

He got to his feet and came to Robin's side to survey the damage. "Awww, nuts."

Robin only turned blue before he passed out on the desk.


	8. Revenge of the Robin

_**Well, well. The story continues, believe it or not. :)**_

* * *

Bruce Wayne was going to get even. The week wasn't halfway over, but he couldn't take it anymore. He had sent Dick to bed in the mansion, but remained in the Batcave, plotting. He glanced at the Batmobile as a slow smile began to spread across his face.

* * *

"You're unusually quiet, Man Wonder," Batman remarked from the driver's side of the Batmobile.

"I don't want to talk to you right now," Robin grumbled, his arms crossed.

"Why's that?"

"Because I hate you."

Batman shrugged. "Because you lost all the information on your computer? Your criminal files, your notes-"

"And you erased my Solitaire high score!"

"Ah, yes. That was a high one." He frowned. "Where do I turn?"

Robin pointed to an empty parking lot. Batman yanked the steering wheel to the side and the car screeched to a halt beside a deserted factory.

Robin glanced at over at Batman. "Hold on, Dick. Let me check something." He leapt from the car, leaving Batman staring after him. Robin reached beneath the vehicle, groping around until he felt the hidden keypad. He leaned over and punched in a combination then straightened, leaning against the passenger window.

"C'mon Batman, let's go!" he called. He watched with a smug smile as the Caped Crusader pressed the button to unlock the doors. Batman frowned and punched the button again. Nothing. Batman shot a glance at Robin, his eyes widening. Suddenly he was pounding on the passenger side window. "Robin, you jerk! You locked me in here!"

Robin chuckled as he tapped the glass. "Hold on. It gets better." He sprinted for the alleyway and reached the shadows just as a door opened and a man with a briefcase stepped from the building.

Meanwhile, Batman continued to punch random buttons before accidentally pressing the "eject" button, which sent him rocketing from the Batmobile and landing hard on the windshield.

The man stared at him incredulously before approaching the Batmobile. "_Batman?"_

Batman groaned before rolling off the hood of the Batmobile and splatting on the concrete. "Ugh." He looked up and his eyes widened. "_Dr. Crane_?"

Crane's hand shot into his pocket and withdrew a small silver canister. "Aha! I've been waiting so long to do this!" He aimed it at Batman's face and pressed the button. Nothing. "Nuts." Crane began shaking the container, but was tackled by Batman before he could test it again.

"Having a little trouble with your fear gas, Crane?" Batman taunted, grabbing the canister from Crane's hand and leaning close. "Let's see how you like _this_!" He pressed the button. "GAH!"

Batman had gassed himself. Robin chuckled from the shadows.

Batman began to roll about, clawing at his face. "Robin, help! I'm being attacked by hamsters!"

Crane stared down at the delusional Dark Knight. "Wait. Your worst fear is _hamsters_?"

"YES! Beady red eyes, long skinny tails…"

Crane sighed. "No, those are _rats_, Batman."

"ARGH! They're all over me! Get them off!"

"There's nothing on you."

"Hamsters! IN MY BATSUIT!"

Dr. Crane ran a hand through his hair. This was disappointing. Nothing struck more fear into the heart of Batman like a fuzzy little rodent. This was pointless. Crane stalked off and disappeared back into the building.

The Man Wonder skipped from the shadows and stopped beside Batman. "Gee, Batman, I guess this means you're inebriated. Guess I'll drive back."

Batman looked up at him and screamed. "Giant hamster! IN TIGHTS!"


End file.
